Mental Health Awareness: Love is an Answer

Every month seems to be This Month or That Month, dedicated to something or another. May happens to be Mental Health Awareness Month in addition to whatever else it is.

When we started going over the medications for mental health in my pharmacology classes, we got the following attention grabber: "Look to your left. Look to your right. One of the three of you will suffer from a mental illness in your lifetime."

The mind and mental health are just as significant (perhaps slightly more than) as the body and physical health. Together the mind, body, and spirit of a person make up their soul. If one of the parts is not right, the whole soul suffers. It is important to take care of all the parts.

Sometimes we disregard mental health or dismiss it with disparaging remarks. "They should just snap out of it. Try thinking happy thoughts. Just overcome your fears." It usually takes a lot more than words to make any other disease state to go away (heart disease, bacterial infection, broken bone). Why would we expect the same for an illness of the mind?
My examples of physical maladies are good for two reasons: not only are they ones to which that we can relate, but they also show how they can come about. Some illnesses come from self-neglect, some from misfortune, and some from a combination. No one chooses specifically to be unhealthy but either bad luck or a series of bad choices can lead to illness. You can't suddenly choose to be healthy either and expect to be so. It takes dedication to be healthy in mind, body, and spirit. But also sometimes bad things happen and that's okay. We don't get to choose everything that happens to us, but we can choose how we will act and react.

The brain (and kind of with it, the psyche) is an organ just like the others. Just like the illnesses and disabilities of the other body organs differ and the treatments for those ailments differ, so does the brain have its own sicknesses (each with unique signs, symptoms, and stages that can vary between individuals with the same diagnosis) and treatments to go with each. Some of those treatments can be drugs, some can be behavioral changes.

As I thought about the ways mental illness has affected my life and the lives of my friends and family, I couldn't help but wonder, "What more could be done for people with these life-altering situations?" I'm a pharmacist by trade and training, but my first thought really isn't to "throw more pills at it".

That isn't to say that medication is unnecessary and can't be part of a treatment plan. Medicine is a tool, just like any other. There's still work to do in other aspects of life to get the job done, but medicine can make the job a little smoother if used correctly. It's like dividing a piece of food. Some people do just fine without any tools. Some might need to use a knife. Depends on the food, depends on the person. And the knife can be used improperly, so it does take some help and guidance. Most tools require proper use to get the proper effect without harming oneself. Same with medicine.

But it often takes more than just the tool to get the job done. It takes the work of a hand and arm to use a knife to cut fruit. It can take TLC (therapeutic lifestyle changes, more on the tender loving care in a minute) to make a difference in achieving healthiness. These changes can be small or large and can vary from individual to individual based on personal needs and ability. They can be anything from diet changes and increased physical activity, introducing coping mechanisms, or having regular activities to give structure and pattern to life's path.
As I thought further on the various mental illnesses plaguing my family and friends, I also drew one more conclusion. No matter what ails the person, each of them needs love. As I recently read this article, Ministering to Latter-day Saints with Mental Disorders, I couldn't help but think that 'love' is one of the best medicines for mental health issues. The article focuses on only a few disorders and doesn't cover some of the other major ones that I have seen affect those around me. But I did kind of see how the article (yes, it is directed at Mormons) pointed the reader toward loving the individual beyond whatever their mental disorder is.
I've seen friends and family struggle with anxiety and depression. I've seen my grandmother suffer from memory loss and cognitive decline (and my grandfather try to battle it). I've seen PTSD and loss of loved ones. I've seen parents trying to raise children with mental disabilities. Every single one of these people needed or still need varying levels of medical care including medication, therapy, and lifestyle/behavioral changes. More than that, each of them needed love and the attention of people who care about them (not just for them). And that is something we all can do.
Mental health is such a heavy topic. I know that some of my biggest fears have to do with losing my own mental capacity and health or having to raise a child or care for a parent with decreased cognitive ability. It's not easy at all. But one thing that I know will get me through if those challenges come to me is that I am loved and that I do and will love those individuals for whom I am responsible. Love is an answer.

Creatures of Habit

• I've been thinking a lot about the things that I do as a habit. In my efforts to become a better me, I've set some goals and tried to make or break habits.
  
  

  It is stupidly difficult!!!

  Making good habits takes a heck of a lot longer than 21 days. Even after months of doing something and failing only occasionally, it is still hard to do it, like it's the first time. Or for stopping a bad habit. Those tendencies, desires, and appetites are still there. Whatever it is, I have to imagine it's worth the effort. Most good things are.
  
  
  Now that I've got that off my chest, I want to talk about accountability. My accountability is usually to myself or to an app on my phone (ironic, when a minor goal is to use my phone less). I will say that it is often better to be accountable to someone else; that feeling of approval (or the fear of disapproval) can be a good motivator. And while I like being accountable to Deity for some goals, it's also really hard to get a report card from God. I usually just give myself an A- and hope I'm right.
  
  When it comes down to it, our accountability to God is all that really matters. He has sent us here to see if we will do the things He wants for us to do. He wants us to become continually better and eventually become like He is. The best thing He did to help us do that is to send His Only Begotten Son to show us the way. 
  
  Though the life of Jesus Christ as a whole shows us a lot of what we should do, it can be very easily summed up in a simple verse that describes all of His childhood/adolescence/young adulthood:
  
  

  And Jesus increased in wisdom and stature, and in favour with God and man. - Luke 2:52

  Mentally. Physically. Spiritually. Socially. These four pillars are key to building a well-balanced life. Here are a few of the things I've been doing to improve myself in these four areas. 
  
  
  
  
  
  

  • I've been doing a low carb diet since February of last year. Turning 29 hit hard and I was feeling a little more adult-y than I had since turning 18. I needed to turn my body into something more than "potato" and start a path of preventing diabetes, hypercholesterolemia, and other cardiovascular risks/events. Now that I'm 30, I'm in pretty decent shape just from eating better. But my GOODNESS, are some people hard to be low carb around! Every party and event, every cookout, church meal... carbs, carbs, carbs. I don't need to stay as low as I thought I did, but I am trying to keep it a part of my lifestyle with as few binges as possible. Along with diet goes exercise. This I'm not so good at. You're not going to get me into a gym. I just won't go. I'm not gonna pay money to be shamed or ogled and to do things I'd much rather do in the comfort of my own home, thank you very much. I have made some improvements though. With my Fitbit, I know how much I am (or am not) moving each day. Most of my good days are when I'm a slave to the ER, but I still get a good number of steps in. I also downloaded an app that gives me set exercises and tells me in that oh so super sexy (sarcasm) robotic Google Girl voice, "Congratulations!", when I complete a day. I'm probably not going to get "Six Pack in 30 Days", but it is a step (haha, get it?) in the right direction. I try to play sports more often, too. I'm probably going to go into an arrhythmia or cardiac arrest playing basketball any longer, but I do enjoy tossing a frisbee or hitting a ball over a net (tennis or volleyball).

  

  Here's a screenshot of that "Six Pack in 30 Days" app. I actually completed 30 days in 29 because I didn't know clicking on a rest day would automatically count it. But I did all of that. I'm on to the next 30 days in May.

  
  

  • Now that I'm done (**fingers crossed** haha, yeah, I'm probably gonna end up back in school in the next decade, just you watch me.) with my academic career, I still want to keep my mind active. I do have to keep up a professional license with Continuing Education hours, but I can never restrict myself to only learning about pharmacy for the rest of my life.  I've starting learning Spanish (while trying to keep my Russian up). I use Duolingo, which in some ways is too slow, in others too fast, but it is helping. I am also reading whenever and however (audiobooks) I can. I read mostly fiction but I try to find interesting articles on Facebook or Reddit in science and politics and whatever else catches my eye. Don't get too angry if I end up sharing a lot of things I find interesting.

  

  
  

  

  I completed a streak of 30 days (and it's still going) with Duolingo. Some days it's super easy and I probably don't learn anything. Some days I feel like I'm really improving. But it's the perseverence I feel that really counts.

  
  

  • Socially is probably where I'm always going to struggle. I'm an introvert, through and through. I have my flashes in the pan of extroversion, but it really takes a lot out of me. Does social media count as being social? To get out of my shell I've been striving to go to Church activities even if I don't want to always be part of the crowd. Also other group outings and events because I need to broaden my horizons. Dating has been a challenge since I'm pretty terrible at it and have a not so friendly schedule, but I enjoy good company and I don't think I'm that terrible at being part of a conversation. 

  • I've had my ups and downs in the spiritual side of things. I'm not perfect at saying my prayers or reading my scriptures, but I try. I recently finished reading the Book of Mormon, start to finish, for the who knows how many-eth time. Since I didn't want to do that again, I'm reading the scriptures by topic. I started reading it in Spanish, too, because double dipping is totally allowed. I have my temple goal (one session for every baseball game I attend). To keep the Spirit with me on Sundays I only listen to hymns and other uplifting music in addition to going to extra meetings or choir practice/performances. I need to get better at doing my hom-... ministering.

  
  

  Here are some oddball things that I'm working on. I don't know if they fit specifically into one of the pillars, but I try to keep them up for the sake of improvement.

  • I'm trying to write more. I haven't been keeping a good habit of writing in this blog. Haha, yeah, kind of missed in April. Gotta do better. I also want to follow some of the writing prompts I've saved over time. One day I'll get a whole novel or at least a novella, but you gotta start somewhere.
  • Since getting my piano for Christmas, I want to play it with regularity. Going to practice at least an hour a week. Hymns primarily, but I want to pick back up some of the classical pieces and movie music I have. Additionally, I want to find some baseball rally music (all the things you hear the organist play during the game) so that one day I can embarrass my kids at their ballgames.

  That's probably enough. If any readers have made it this far, congratulations! You don't win anything, just my respect and gratitude. But I do appreciate it. 

  
  

  Keep me accountable for the goals and habits I've mentioned. Ask me about other ones. Tell me how I can help you with yours. We're all in this life together so we might as well be on the same team.
  
  
  I leave you with a familiar quote:

  We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act but a habit.  - Aristotle

Faith Is All It Takes

This morning in my scripture study I came across an interesting verse. The last part of it really caught my eye.

"But behold, my beloved brethren, I judge better things of you, for I judge that ye have faith in Christ because of your meekness; for if ye have not faith in him then ye are not fit to be numbered among the people of his church." - Moroni 7:39

It seemed to get really harsh there at the end. "... not fit to be numbered among the people of his church"? I thought the Church was supposed to be a welcoming place/group, not one that limits who can join. Guess what? It still is. And the only requirement? A little bit of faith.

Dieter F. Uchtdorf once said, "Doubt your doubts before you doubt your faith." He also said, "I know of no sign on the doors of our meeting houses that says 'Your testimony must be this tall to enter.'" 

It doesn't take much to have a little faith. That's why it is the first principle of the Gospel. Alma told us that we really only need to have a desire to believe and then we can start from there to grow our faith. Even by simply attending church we have shown a little faith that we want to learn something that can make us a better person. Looking back at the first part of that verse, that little faith comes from meekness, humility.

All Mormon says we have to do to be part of the Church is have faith. We might have doubts about doctrine or policy,  we might have doubts about our personal worthiness or worth, or we might have doubts about any number of other things.  But if we can have faith in Jesus Christ, we can belong in His Church. That's literally it. We don't have to have perfect understanding or perfect obedience or perfect faith or perfect anything, just a little faith in Christ. From there we can develop faith in other areas. We'll gain understanding as we go along.

Elder Jeffrey R. Holland said, "Be ye therefore perfect - eventually." We're not expected to be perfect now. Just do the best with what you can, have faith, and the Lord will make up all the difference.

Faith works in so many ways. Not just staying active in church when the world is unkind or intolerant toward your beliefs. It's also about following your dreams, doing what you truly desire. You're not going to be the best at it when you first start, but with faith, you can become better. You can make the world a better place.

Adulting So Hard Right Now

I've been an adult for 12 years now, going by the day I aged enough to vote and get drafted. Each day brings its own challenges and opportunities. Each of those brings growth as a person, or so I hope.

Today I scheduled my first doctor's appointment in a long time. I should probably do a dentist appointment, too, but one step at a time, okay? I figure I've got to make sure I get more of these birthday things that happen each year. I hear the alternative isn't that fun. 

Some days I really I miss being a kid. Gone are the days when nightmares were big monsters with too many appendages/teeth/claws, gigantic stingers, or super strength/speed. Gone are the days when mom and dad could check the closet. (Mom/Dad, aren't you glad I never actually did that one? At least to my knowledge, and thanks if you did have to check closets. I know you did have to put me back in the top bunk at least once when I fell out, so I know you were always there.) 

Adult nightmares are super terrifying because they're uber real. As an adult I have nightmares about worst-case scenarios at work, getting into WW3 or the Great Depression 2.0, dating and marriage vs. being alone for life, crippling debt from student loans and mortgages, and being in a vehicle collision. No adult can tell me those aren't real. The only comfort afforded is "this too shall pass."

Gone are the days where doing all 15 even-numbered math problems (the ones that didn't have the answers in the back of the book), writing a science report, and whatever other homework I had left over was my only work outside of attending school because I did most of it in school. And when mom made all of your doctor appointments, and dad made sure all the bills were paid. Cooking, cleaning, shopping; none of that was really my responsibility except for a few chores here and there.

I get to do all of that now for myself. If I don't have food in my fridge, it's only my fault. (I promise I do have food in my fridge. I just don't want to make what I have.) Clean clothes? Only if I did the laundry. Electricity, running water, running car? Gotta pay those bills, Nate. Bills don't get paid without working for the man, either. 

It's definitely not all fun and games. Yes, I can have cake for breakfast. Yes, I can stay up all hours of the night playing video games, reading a book, or watching a movie/show. Yes, I can drive anywhere I want. But all of those have scary adult consequences and responsibilities attached to them. So do all of the other things kids wish they could do when they're young.

On a happier (and less existential crisis) note, I'm actually really blessed and have many privileges and opportunities for which others can only dream. I am grateful for knowledge about the Plan of Salvation/Happiness. This life is no cake-walk for anyone. However, there is hope for a bright future with Heavenly Father, family, and friends in an eternal paradise. I just need to do what I know is right and endure (not just hang in there or suffer through it) to the end. A Savior was sent, and He prepared the way back. That is the Gospel.

The Menthol Mixup

This past week menthol has been my new favorite alcohol. The amount of cough drops and vapor rub that I've used has made me a new kind of alcoholic. It's a great smell even when you're not sick, so I'm not that ashamed. (I may need to talk to my bishop about my use of alcohol. Or a dictionary. But that's the chemist in me. Anything with an -OH group is going to be an alcohol to me.)

I actually really liked the smell as a kid. Smell is said to be the sense linked strongest to memory. We've always had that menthol rub at home for when we get sick. Another menthol product that I really like is IcyHot. Now's the real story time.

Back when I was about 4 or 5, my dad used to play in a church softball league. He jokes that he didn't play that hard ("I would wait and see if the ball would hit the ground and make it out of the infield before I left the batter's box."), but he still must have had a competitive drive because he always came home super dirty and sore. He would shower and then use two products every night, almost without fail.

My mom would rub IcyHot into his sore muscles (or he would if he could reach), and he would also give his underarms a few swipes of SpeedStick. I love the smell of original Speed Stick, too. To this day it's my preferred brand and scent. To me, those smells still remind me of my dad and his athletic endeavors of his early 30's.

Well to be just like my dad (what young boy doesn't want to be like his father?), I felt I needed to put on deodorant and the muscle rub for whatever activity I had going on that day. The problem is that I didn't know which one went where at that young age. I just knew that they both went on his body and they made him smell good. I learned really quick that IcyHot with its "goes on cool, stays warm" should not go in the armpit area. Cue: burning sensation.

I think I've only ever used IcyHot once since then, possibly during my own baseball years of high school, but I never really threw the ball hard enough to warrant needing the treatment more than once. I do use SpeedStick. Somewhat regularly. I think. There's definitely a time and place for everything.

2017 Highlights

Before it's socially awkward (which is pretty much me to a T anyway, but here goes!) to post about it, I'm going to be optimistic about the new year. 2017 was pretty amazing. A few highlights:

Had a "Copper" birthday (29 yo, element 29, I'm a nerd, you probably already know this.) For those of you that don't have a clue what I'm talking about, I asked people to send me pictures of copper things instead of the plain old "Happy Birthday!" posts everyone likes to post on Facebook. It's so impersonal, so I wanted something different. I'm trying to think of what to have ya'll post for #30. Zinc just doesn't sound very appealing, but completing my 30th trip around Sol has been a good ride.

Learned a new diet. Lost about 30 pounds and I intend to keep it off. I cheat quite frequently because I'm at my goal, but I'd like to keep it off and maybe even get rid of the cookie pouch and other problem areas. I feel good about my body now, something I hadn't felt while I was far less active and eating out of boredom compounded with the stress of school. I've gotten back into the "swing" of things by playing tennis more regularly and I'm just trying to find the motivation/people to do more physical activities.

Speaking of school, I'm a doctor now! I only go by Dr. Lunt on paper (I don't care whether you call me Nathan or Nate or even Brother Lunt, but I don't feel it's necessary to call me Dr. Lunt), but you better believe I definitely earned that degree and title. Pharmacy is a pretty amazing field and I'm glad to be able to help people understand their health and medications. I passed my licensing exams after a bunch more stress and now I'm done with it all, right? Easy Street now? Haha. Yeah, right.

I got a great job right after my license came in. I like working at the San Carlos Apache Healthcare Corp. So many great co-workers and usually a pretty chill work situation. Not right now; too much flu and everything else going on making it seem even more stressful than school ever was. But it's still a great gig and I'll probably stay for many years. It's just a bummer that it's in the middle of nowhere and two hours away from either home.

I was pretty busy with school for the first half of the year, then studying for licensing, then working off my probation status at work, so I haven't done much traveling or fun stuff. I did go to a ton of baseball games this past year during the summer and that was a great experience.

As for my family, I've got a new niece, Leah, and almost a new sister. My brother got back from his mission and proposed to his girlfriend, Josie, but they haven't tied the knot yet. Something I'll be sure to add to the 2018 Highlights.

I had a good holiday season. I had a great time posting about things I was grateful for Thanksgiving. Then the Christmas season was great. I stayed focused on the Savior by listening to mostly hymns and other Christ-centered carols and by reading and listening to scriptures and other words of prophets.

And because everyone seems to want to know, especially when I'm back home, yes, I'm still single. I'm still looking, still working on improving myself to be the best potential husband/father I can be, but I'm okay with where I am in life. Sure, it would be nice to have that Eternal Companion, but I'm not in any rush. I want to get it right and so far I haven't found that special someone. I'll be patient to find her when it's supposed to happen. See "Interested" from 2016 to find out what I'm looking for.

And that's about it. I may have missed a few things, but it's almost January 2nd. I hope 2018 can be just as great, or even better.

On Papers and Titles

Over the past couple days and months, I've received some papers that give me new titles and privileges. It took a lot of hard work and several years' time, but people can now refer to me as Dr. Nathan Marc Lunt, PharmD and Nathan Marc Lunt, RPh.

My Degree; Doctor of Pharmacy

My Wall License; Registered Pharmacist in Arizona

These two pieces of paper are proof of a lot of hard work to obtain knowledge in the field of pharmacy. I'm very grateful for the support of family and friends through all the years. I'm also thankful to my Heavenly Father for blessing me with so many great opportunities and for the talents He has given me.

Yet, these two rather large pieces of paper don't really compare to a smaller one that I keep in my wallet. The titles I get from these papers don't compare to a title I was born with.

This morning for the first time in a long time, I went to the temple. I used this tiny piece of paper to show I was allowed to enter:

Once inside, not a soul knew that I was a pharmacist. Not one called me "Doctor Lunt" or anything of that sort. One person recognized my last name and knew my grandpa, but that was it. And yet, not once did I feel unwelcome or less than what I really am: a son of God. They all called me "Brother (Lunt)" and I loved it. As we all wore essentially the same white clothing, I couldn't have told you anyone's profession and that's a very special thing. None of us are any better than anyone else. We're all children of loving Heavenly Parents, siblings to an elder brother, Jesus Christ. Nothing else mattered there in the temple.

I don't need this third piece of paper to prove that I'm a son of God. It only proves my worthiness to enter the temple, not my parentage. Each of us can individually come to know that we are a child of God. Pray to Him; He is there and will listen.

As I sat in various rooms in the temple, hearing precious words, learning and relearning important parts of the plan of salvation, praying to know about my future and my plans, and just meditating, I felt the Spirit kind of reiterate the words of a priesthood blessing I received about a week ago just the night prior to taking one of my licensing exams. I know that Heavenly Father is real and that He has a plan for me. Things will work out for me no matter what happens because He loves me. I really am a son of God. That tiny piece of paper allowed me to enter one of the most beautiful buildings I've ever been in and feel so much peace and serenity, a place where I could once again come to the realization that I am a child of God.

I still have a few more licenses and titles to obtain, some professional, some more family related, but the most important title I have had since birth, and I need no physical proof to know it for myself, is son of God. Nothing else matters nearly so much.

AZ Regional YSA Conference

Last weekend I had the opportunity to attend a Regional YSA Conference for the 5 stakes of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints in the Phoenix, Arizona area. Plenty of people came from all over the state; maybe not as many as the planners had hoped, but it was still a lot of amazing young single adults at one event. It was quite inspiring to see that many people gathered for something that may not always have been “fun,” but it was very influential.

There were a couple dances (More like listen to this live band or this music and if you want you can dance; yeah… I don’t dance and I prefer to preserve my hearing a few more years.), a grand scale service project (we probably packed over 1000 backpacks with school supplies for Native American school children; I had the unglorified opportunity to haul pallets outside to be loaded and put on the trucks but it was good), and lots of food (which totally threw me off my diet a couple times; it’s hard to eat keto when the food provided for you is absolutely packed with carbs, but I think I burned them off pretty well with the service project, walking between speaker locations, singing, and generally being in the Arizona heat. Thank goodness it wasn’t in July!). There were times to talk and socialize (Yes, I did talk with a few girls, thank you very much!) and when you arrive early you can actually sit there and listen to your own thoughts.

The main reason I’m writing (typing?) this is because of the wonderful experience I had with the speakers and with performing as a part of the choir. Pretty much every speaker could have been handpicked just for me as were the musical numbers. It brought a lot of peace, joy, and conviction. Here are my experiences in order and with as much detail as I remember (or want to give you; I can only get so vulnerable out here on the interwebs).

We started Friday night off with the choir singing “Did You Think to Pray?”. It isn’t too much different from how it is in the hymnbook, but it was still a great piece. The choir director for this piece, Ted Sowards, helped us to envision how each verse builds on the last (he described a situation where parents would console their distraught teenager and it was pretty interesting) and encourages you to pray when things get rough. Boy, was that a good start to the conference. The next few talks would be from some people who really did have it rough at some points in their life. Comparatively, I’ve got a cakewalk next to them, and yet I still struggle to pray. I need to get better at that, easy life or difficult.

The first speaker was a girl (Bre Lasley) that showed that God cares about individuals so much and He definitely has a hand in each of our lives. She talked about a Chinese man that still knew about Christ despite communism choking out religion, and then about a family on her mission that had a health miracle due to the prayers of the family and the missionaries. She finished with a terrifying recounting of when she was attacked in her home. She emphasized to us that God does exist and does listen to our prayers. He does protect us and will give us the power to overcome life’s challenges. We can do this through Christ.

As if the first speaker’s topic wasn’t heavy enough, the second was a man (Chris Williams) that lost most of his family to a drunk driving incident. Earlier in his life, he had accidentally run over and killed a young boy and could find peace despite his regret. Now he could find that same peace to forgive the driver and to understand that he would see his family again.

The first couple of speakers when over a bit on the time, so Devin G Durrant wasn’t able to speak very long. Honestly, I was kind of in awe at the first two talks that I don’t remember much of what Elder Durrant spoke. He pretty much just encouraged us to keep strong and to follow the same advice as the first speakers (find our strength in Christ and seek the peace that He provides). He did get to speak in a small group in place of another speaker, but I didn’t not attend that small group.

As was very fitting of the apparent theme for that session, we sang “Master, the Tempest is Raging” as a closing hymn. It was a different arrangement than in the hymnbook, but very nicely done. It started almost dark and low, but it built up to a peaceful ending where the Savior has rescued the person on the sea. The world is like a raging sea, very chaotic and dangerous. However, when we call upon our Savior, just like He calmed the ancient seas (He did create them after all) He can calm our souls and the world around us (He created those, too). No power of man or demon is enough to best God. It’s always amazing to me when the music fits the talks so well. It’s a good sign that Someone is inspiring the people that put these things together.

A ”dance” occurred at this point, but that’s not important. Back to the action on Saturday.

We started off by listening to Steve Young (yes, the quarterback for BYU and the 49ers). Even the people that you think are perfect have their struggles. He didn’t get married until he was 38 (and he knew all along that he was a “menace to society,” but so much for those words, Brigham Young. I’m still not rushing anything. I’m fine with my "menace" status.) He also suffered from depression and separation anxiety throughout much of his adult life, even as a professional football player. He focused on his strengths and wanted to see how far he could go. He never let anything (not even being a famous NFL star) come between him and coming closer to God. Fear never ruled his life.

Next was a sister who also didn’t get married until later in life. In fact, Sister Mary N Cook (a former Young Women’s leader) married so late that she started off her marriage with grandchildren. That never stopped her from living her life. She remained steadfast and prepared herself for anything that the Lord wanted of her. She repeated often the words “Live Ye” as found in Ezekiel 18:32. She encouraged us to always be grateful and steadfast, and to continue with always learning. She had experiences with her education and professional life that made her an ideal candidate (not her husband; it was really her they wanted to call) for a mission in Mongolia. Happiness can be found in growing and showing gratitude.

Third, we listened to former governor of Utah, Mike Leavitt. As governor he had to make a lot of big decisions for his state. He compared decisions to the gears in a clock. The big ones move a lot easier when the little ones are made. As young adults there are lots of decisions to be made (education, career, marriage and where to do all three as well as plenty of other big decisions). As we (1) lay out our thoughts and options, (2) shrink the uncertainties, (3) seek the counsel of others, and (4) plan to decide all while (5) praying earnestly for help from our Heavenly Father our choices will work out for good. He won’t make the decision for us (we will always have our agency), He will bless our efforts and decisions if we make them with Him. We need to have a routine for our decisions just like shooting a free throw or making a putt. As we are deliberate with our decisions, they will work out.

The last speaker for Saturday morning was President Clark Gilbert, of BYU-Pathways. To keep it short, he also focused on education. It is essentially a commandment to continue learning. We are children of God and He wants us to continue to learn and grow to become like Him. All learning is important, religious and worldly.

We had lunch and then the service project. It was a lot of work, but I think it went well. After the project was finished we went on to several other speakers. We had a lot of choices as to where to go, so I didn’t get to hear all of them, but I was incredibly blessed to hear the three that I did.

I started with Jimmer Fredette (yes, the basketball player for BYU, the NBA, and now in China). He talked about growing up and playing for BYU to make the transition to playing in the NBA and in China. He knew he had to have some decisions made beforehand, before there was any pressure to make the wrong choices when living his life in the spotlight. He knew he wasn’t going to drink or go to parties in Playboy Penthouses. He knew it was going to make him different and that was okay. He was doing what Heavenly Father would want from him. He is thinking of the long-term and doesn’t get caught up in the ways of the world. It was also pretty cool to see Jimmer participate in a shooting contest with some people in the crowd. He won, even in a tight dress shirt.

Keeping with the sports theme, I changed places to go listen to Brian Banks, a former MLB player and World Series winner. He was drafted right out of high school but decided to serve a mission and then went to BYU. He knew he wanted to serve a mission for much longer than he wanted to be a professional baseball player. After an up and down career bouncing between the minors and majors, he was on a World Series Championship team and retired. All along the way he knew he was in the places that Heavenly Father wanted him to be. He was able to have a few missionary experiences that would not have happened if he hadn’t been moved down to the minors. If we seek first the kingdom of God, we will be in the right place. He is now a pediatric dentist because he felt he needed to keep doing what the Lord wanted him to do. He encouraged us to stay in the “clubhouse” that is the church and the relationships that we can develop there.

I almost moved for my third speaker but I’m glad I didn’t. The final workshop speaker was Walid Kaakoush. He was born and raised in Lebanon as a Muslim. He was taught all his life to hate Jews and Christians. When he moved to the United States he made friends with members of the Church while playing soccer and attended his first meeting on a bet. Eventually he was baptized which caused him to be disowned by his family. He couldn’t deny it though. He served a mission, continued to play soccer, became a seminary/institute teacher, and has always stayed with the Church. Heavenly Father knew who he is and never left him alone in any of his decisions or trials.

More food and socializing followed by a live band and a dance. It made for a very long Saturday, but one of the best I’ve ever had.

Sunday was pretty much amazing. I didn’t record any names (and I can’t look any of them up) so you just get some of my thoughts, messages from the Spirit, and the notes that I took. Here goes:

• Don’t take counsel from fears but draw on spiritual experience you already have. Have faith in the things you already know. This will help in making decisions in life.
• Repentance is the opportunity to change and rise up to attain your full potential.
• Read the Book of Mormon to tap into the power of God. It took His power to translate it and the power is still there. Treasure it up each and every day to find peace.
• The Lord knew Joseph (Smith)’s name. He knows yours too and everything you are going through.
• Look up and see where you are. Be steadfast and immovable. Heavenly Father can continue to guide us as we are steadfast and immovable and help us through struggles and shortcomings. Staying a member of the Church allows you to become so much more.
• God is always there and will always love you. See what a change in your “lens” can let you see to become and achieve. Use the “lens of gratitude” in all things, even the bad.
• The Lord doesn’t care about the past but where you are now and where you are headed. The savior is always welcoming. All He asks is a broken heart and a contrite spirit.
•  He lives to grant me rich supply. He lives to guide me with his eye. He lives to comfort me when faint. He lives to hear my soul's complaint. He lives to silence all my fears. He lives to wipe away my tears. He lives to calm my troubled heart. He lives all blessings to impart. (The speaker quoted the entire second verse of “I Know That My Redeemer Lives.”)

After this speaker, we (the choir) sang “My Kindness Shall Not Depart from Thee.” Probably the most powerful song of the conference. Definitely the most difficult, but oh so worth it. It’s by Rob Gardner. Look it up if you have never heard of it before. It’s based on scripture found in Isaiah Chapter 54 and Doctrine and Covenants Section 121. Just like “Master, the Tempest is Raging,” it’s about finding the peace and love that the Lord provides. Even when we sin or the very gates of hell seem to swallow us up, He is there. He is always there. And He’s never going to leave us. Thanks to Taylor Hudson for directing this one and helping me to feel this one.

The closing speaker was supposed to be Elder J. Devn Cornish, but he was not able to make it for health reasons. In his stead we were able to listen to Elder John C. Pingree. However it worked out, it did work out. And it was a great talk. Here are some notes I took:

• Don’t be afraid to ask His help even for the “small” things. “Why haven’t you asked for my help?”
• “God knows you specifically and has a specific plan for you.” You have been called to do things even before you came here that only you can do. To Moses (and to you) He says, “Thou art my son [daughter]. I have a work for thee.” Reread and continue to read your patriarchal blessing.
• Look for other people’s true value and worth. None of the worldly measurements really matter. Jesus Christ had none of these but He was the greatest.
• Ask, “God, what do you want me to do? What is my purpose?”
• We all have spiritual gifts. Read Doctrine and Covenants Section 46 about gifts of the Spirit. Ask others what your gifts are. See how your gifts can bless others. To Ammon it was said, “Be patient and diligent in suffering and I will make thee an instrument in my hands.”
• Having challenges and difficulties is how Heavenly Father helps us grow. He needs you where you are now. You are a child of God; you have spiritual DNA. Have the faith to step up and become what He wants you to be.

Of course, the choir had to end on a strong note. What song is stronger than “The Spirit of God”? It was the arrangement by Mack Wilberg, which is amazing. I’ve never tried to sing so loud in my life, I think, but I was certainly feeling the Spirit at that point.

This conference was one of the best things I could have done this summer. Being part of the choir also really helped to bring the Spirit into my life more abundantly. Music has a way of doing that. The conference was such an amazing, uplifting experience. I hope its effects will linger for a while. Even if it doesn’t solve my “YSA” (emphasis on the S) problem, it will have been well worth my time. If nothing else was made clear during this conference it is that I know that I am loved and that my Heavenly Father and Savior care for me. I’m not perfect, and neither do They expect that of me, but I can do and become great things with Their help.

Improving Ourselves - A Journey to Perfection

One of my most memorable seminary lessons was in my junior year of high school while studying the New Testament. As we began studying the lives of Christ and his disciples it really stood out to me how very little we know about the early years of Jesus. We have the story of His birth and that in his toddler years He moved to Egypt and then to Nazareth. We have Him in the temple, teaching the people and answering (not asking) their questions. And that about sums it up. Next thing we know he’s getting baptized and tempted and turning water into wine.

The best scripture we have is this one from the Gospel of Luke (2:52): “And Jesus increased in wisdom and stature, and in favor with God and man.” Boom. His entire childhood, teenage years, and twenties summed up in one sentence. Thirty years in one verse.

And yet my seminary teacher was able to spin an entire lesson out of it. He broke each of those statements down: “increased in wisdom” (He was learning his trade and about the world around Him.), “in stature” (He grew physically.), “and in favor with God” (He learned spiritual lessons and His role in Heavenly Father’s plan.), “and man” (He was social, becoming known by the people in His hometown.) Here is an excellent, well-rounded pattern for our lives.

Each year most of us make “New Year Resolutions.” Most years mine is to make no other resolutions. It’s really easy to keep. But why should I use the New Year to do it? Shouldn’t I be doing it all the time? Well, yeah. Do I? Nope. I do, however, try to pattern my goals in life after this scripture about Jesus’ formative years. I try to keep up on my studies, always learn new things, and develop my talents. I try to eat healthy and exercise or play sports from time to time. I try to keep up with prayers and scripture study and Church meetings and callings and developing spiritual talents and just life, the universe, and everything. And I try to be a little more social than I usually am, keeping my house, room and car clean for guests, attending FHE and other activities, and maybe going on some dates. I’m not perfect, so I’m often very short of my goals, but I’m working on them.

How are you, my dear brothers and sisters, doing on your New Year Resolutions? On January 17^th was “National Ditch Your Resolution Day.” How many of you even lasted that long? Or did you wait to do it on the Lunar New Year (yesterday, the 28^th)? How many are still going? Wherever you’re at, let me tell you, brothers and sisters, that you can still work on things that will make you a better person, that will bring you closer to Christ and following His example. You can do it.

As I thought about what to talk, this was my driving impression: not getting discouraged and finding the strength and faith to do the things we want to improve. As we think about all of the things we want to accomplish in life or as we look at others in their seemingly perfect lives, it can get a little depressing. May I offer my thoughts on this and implement the doctrine of the Church and the Gospel of Jesus Christ. I will take much of my inspiration from this last General Conference and even the General Women’s Session. Yes, some real men do actually read and listen to it just like the sisters can read and listen to the Priesthood Session. Sometimes the Women’s Session sounds nicer and is very uplifting.

First, remember that you are a beloved son or daughter of our Heavenly Father. The Family: A Proclamation to the World states, “Each is a beloved spirit son or daughter of heavenly parents, and, as such, each has a divine nature and destiny.” Many of the sisters will remember reading/reciting the Young Women’s theme that begins, “We are daughters of our Heavenly Father, who loves us, and we love Him.” Never forget that. It has been said by President John Taylor, and many others of our prophets and apostles have been fond of saying, “We are gods in embryo.” We have so much potential. If we follow the Gospel of Jesus Christ we can live with God again and become like Him. Think spiritual DNA: Divine Nature and Attributes. We all have them, everyone on this Earth. All have that potential.

One way to find some of the potential that our Heavenly Father sees in us is to receive and study our patriarchal blessings. There are many promises given through such a blessing that are specifically given only to you. Sure, everyone’s blessing probably talks about doing some very general things in life (missions, careers, families, callings), but there are some very specific phrases and blessings that will have special meaning to you.

Second, I would admonish you never to compare yourself with others. Sister Jean B. Bingham said in her talk in the Women’s Conference, “Sometimes, we look at what others might have or be and feel we are less in comparison. We become focused on the Pinterest or Instagram versions of life or caught up in our school’s or workplace’s preoccupation with competition. However, when we take a moment to “count [our] many blessings,” we see with a truer perspective and recognize the goodness of God to all of His children.”

The only person with whom you should ever compare yourself is yourself. Are you better today than you were yesterday? Than last week, last month, last year? Are you becoming the better person you want to be?  I essentially want to copy and paste all of Elder J. Devn Cornish’s talk “Am I Good Enough?” right now, but a small part will have to suffice.

“Please, my beloved brothers and sisters, we must stop comparing ourselves to others. We torture ourselves needlessly by competing and comparing. We falsely judge our self-worth by the things we do or don’t have and by the opinions of others. If we must compare, let us compare how we were in the past to how we are today—and even to how we want to be in the future. The only opinion of us that matters is what our Heavenly Father thinks of us. Please sincerely ask Him what He thinks of you. He will love and correct but never discourage us.”

It is discouraging to compare ourselves with others. To quote President Uchtdorf’s two-word counsel, “Stop it!” Each of us has talents given to us by our Heavenly Father through His Spirit. You don’t have to be the best at anything to be good at something.

Finally, I would talk about how we can accomplish our goals. None of this happens overnight. It takes our whole life of continually following Jesus Christ. We won’t be perfect in this life, but it is something to strive toward even as we continually fall short. The commandment still stands, “Ye should be perfect even as I, or your Father who is in heaven, is perfect.”

I feel that we too often try to do too much as millennials. We think we have to be perfect, that we have to fit the mold, and get it all right now. It gets discouraging when we fail or are told by others that we are failures for not being as far as they think we should be. We need to focus on what makes us true millennials just like President Nelson taught last year. Like he taught us just this month, we have many wonderful examples to follow including our Latter-day Prophets, and especially that of Jesus Christ as we learn of Him, to help us to become our great potential.

The Apostle Paul told the Philippians, “I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.” (4:13) We really can. As we learn of Christ like we have been assigned, we will grow closer to Him and we will gain spiritual strength to do many things. That doesn’t mean that we get some faith and suddenly do all things, though. King Benjamin told us that we should not run faster than we have strength. Paul had to start the Corinthians with milk and not meat. Joseph Smith learned line upon line, and precept upon precept.

When talking to patients about making lifestyle changes to improve their medical conditions, there are often many different options. Bacterial infection, sure: just put this antibiotic cream on it or take this twice a day until it’s gone and hope it starts getting better in a couple days. But with complex, chronic conditions, like high blood pressure, diabetes, depression, and insomnia, there are lists of things that can be told to the patient (diet, exercise, medications, counseling, sleep hygiene and so on) that it gets overwhelming. In a class we were told to plan no more than three to five changes for a patient. Yes, you want to recommend everything and make them better instantly, but these things take time.

It’s the same with making changes in our lives to achieve our goals. We would like to do everything all at once, but it will be overwhelming and daunting. Try to make small changes over time and you’ll see the results. A phrase that I like from my patriarchal blessing is “in due time.” I don’t need to rush anything and everything. If I’m working towards my goals and Heavenly Father’s plan for me, I will achieve them in His time.

Going back to President Uchtdorf, in the Women’s Conference in his talk “Fourth Floor, Last Door”, the title story at the end of his talk illustrates that it is by constant persistence and endurance to the end that we achieve what we are meant to do. Two missionaries had a rough day knocking doors in Germany. They started at the bottom of a four-story building, knocking on doors and getting rejected all the way up. It wasn’t until they knocked on the very last door of the fourth floor that they found an apartment with a little girl and her widow mother. After reading the Book of Mormon the next few days, they were baptized shortly after. A certain deacon caught the eye of that little girl in sacrament meeting. That deacon was Dieter Uchtdorf, and it was his wife Harriet that had opened that last door. See how persistence pays off?

I have always liked the analogy about the smelting of silver. It is after a good deal of time and much heat that the impurities are taken out to get pure silver. At the end of it all, you can see your reflection in pure silver and it’s often used as the backing for mirrors. After a life of living through trials and striving to achieve our goals, it is our hope that Christ can see His countenance in us. Another analogy would involve diamonds. It takes a lot of heat and pressure over time to create diamonds from pure carbon. Even after that they aren’t the best that they can be until they have been cut to show their clarity and brilliance. After we have been through this process, we can have Christ’s light shine through us and we will become perfect.

Moroni concludes the Book of Mormon by saying, “Come unto Christ, and be perfected in him, and deny yourselves of all ungodliness; and if ye shall deny yourselves of all ungodliness, and love God with all your might, mind and strength, then is his grace sufficient for you, that by his grace ye may be perfect in Christ.”

Our Heavenly Father truly loves us and wants the best for us. If we will follow our Savior’s example, live the Gospel, and strive to achieve our goals, we will be able to live with God again as perfect, eternal people. Until that time, let us work towards it.

An Apolitical (as possible) 2016 Election Commentary from a Mormon Pharmboy

Now that Halloween is over, all the scary stuff is gone, right? No more scary stuff on the television. No more terrifying things posted on the internet. Hahaha, yeah, right. The election is still coming and it’s still scary.

It’s probably true for most of you, too. Maybe you don’t like either of the candidates from our two major parties. Or maybe you do. Maybe you’re thinking of going to a third party, or maybe those are just as scary. Whatever your opinions of the candidates from the main or third parties, that’s not even the scariest thing to me.

What’s really getting to me is how nasty society is becoming over this presidential race and many other election issues. 

It's scary how people are treating each other, calling names, and insulting others simply based on their voicing an opinion. Everyone seems to think they have the perfect answer (or the “truth”) and there really isn't one. No one wants to admit that. Instead they attack anyone who even remotely challenges their opinion. And that’s really all anyone has: an opinion and a quick reply to attack anyone who dares challenge that opinion.

With all of the vitriol and venom being flung around these days, I’m going to take comfort in a few things.

First, I don't like the "lesser of two evils" or even the "avoid the lesser of two evils" talks going around. Everyone needs to study up on *all* of the candidates and propositions, find the ones that most aligns with their views, and then just vote while being kind and courteous to others. I seriously doubt that anyone can change someone else's opinion, and it’s a snowball's chance in hell if they do it by name calling and slander.

I can appreciate that the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints guides us on some important issues (recreational marijuana, marriage, euthanasia), but stays away from endorsing a candidate (or even going against a candidate). What I appreciate most, though, was that the General Authorities (leaders of the Church) have told us to be civil and to treat people with kindness, regardless of political/religious/etc. views. I don’t care if you’re Mormon or not; you can still follow that counsel to be courteous and respectful.

Your opinion is your own. You can change it all you want. Maybe someone will present information that will have you consider changing it, but that is still up to you. No one can (or should) force you to think or even vote in any way. And we shouldn't seek to do the same to others.

Second, I can’t control much, but I can control how I act and react. I will not lower my standards. I will stand up for what I believe in, but I will not be disrespectful of others.

While studying the Beatitudes in the Book of Mormon (they’re almost exactly the same as the ones found in Matthew 5), I noticed the last two really apply today. It's cool to me that He gave the same message to two ancient peoples, and it still applies today. 

9. And blessed are all the peacemakers, for they shall be called the children of God.

I am going to try to be a peacemaker. I will always consider my first and most important description to be a “son of God.”  Sometimes that means staying out of the argument. Sometimes that means reminding people who they are. Mostly it means being a source of peace.

10 And blessed are all they who are persecuted for my name’s sake, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

I wouldn’t say that I’m persecuted, not yet. I still have many freedoms. My beliefs and ideals might be ridiculed, but I am still allowed them. Things might get worse, but that’s where my hope and faith for the future come in.

Things are going to get pretty bad before the end. (Have you read Matthew 24? Or any of the Book of Revelation? Maybe Nephi’s vision after the Tree of Life? Yeah, it’s gonna get ugly.) But that doesn’t mean that we have to be a part of the bad. Good people everywhere are going to have to stand up where they are and be an example of.. well… good. It’s going to get rough to stand up for what you believe is right, but it will be worth it.

Sorry, that was the third thing kind of mashed onto the end of the second. I’m taking comfort in my hope of the future.

I have faith and hope that Jesus Christ will come again. There will be a lot of terrible things to come, but at the end of all of that will be a glorious millennium. We will be reunited with loved ones, there will be peace, and Christ will reign personally upon the earth.

In closing, a reminder (or maybe a first time viewing) of a couple Articles of Faith from Joseph Smith.

11 We claim the privilege of worshiping Almighty God according to the dictates of our own conscience, and allow all men the same privilege, let them worship how, where, or what they may.

We are going to stand up for what we believe is right and allow others to do the same.

12 We believe in being subject to kings, presidents, rulers, and magistrates, in obeying, honoring, and sustaining the law.

Whatever becomes law, whoever becomes president or leader, we will obey, honor, and sustain so long as it is righteous and doesn’t interfere with #11.

13 We believe in being honest, true, chaste, benevolent, virtuous, and in doing good to all men; indeed, we may say that we follow the admonition of Paul—We believe all things, we hope all things, we have endured many things, and hope to be able to endure all things. If there is anything virtuous, lovely, or of good report or praiseworthy, we seek after these things.

Let us be sure to follow the admonition of Paul and develop the attributes that make us more like our Heavenly Parents and Savior, Jesus Christ.