I've been an adult for 12 years now, going by the day I aged enough to vote and get drafted. Each day brings its own challenges and opportunities. Each of those brings growth as a person, or so I hope.
Today I scheduled my first doctor's appointment in a long time. I should probably do a dentist appointment, too, but one step at a time, okay? I figure I've got to make sure I get more of these birthday things that happen each year. I hear the alternative isn't that fun.
Some days I really I miss being a kid. Gone are the days when nightmares were big monsters with too many appendages/teeth/claws, gigantic stingers, or super strength/speed. Gone are the days when mom and dad could check the closet. (Mom/Dad, aren't you glad I never actually did that one? At least to my knowledge, and thanks if you did have to check closets. I know you did have to put me back in the top bunk at least once when I fell out, so I know you were always there.)
Adult nightmares are super terrifying because they're uber real. As an adult I have nightmares about worst-case scenarios at work, getting into WW3 or the Great Depression 2.0, dating and marriage vs. being alone for life, crippling debt from student loans and mortgages, and being in a vehicle collision. No adult can tell me those aren't real. The only comfort afforded is "this too shall pass."
Gone are the days where doing all 15 even-numbered math problems (the ones that didn't have the answers in the back of the book), writing a science report, and whatever other homework I had left over was my only work outside of attending school because I did most of it in school. And when mom made all of your doctor appointments, and dad made sure all the bills were paid. Cooking, cleaning, shopping; none of that was really my responsibility except for a few chores here and there.
I get to do all of that now for myself. If I don't have food in my fridge, it's only my fault. (I promise I do have food in my fridge. I just don't want to make what I have.) Clean clothes? Only if I did the laundry. Electricity, running water, running car? Gotta pay those bills, Nate. Bills don't get paid without working for the man, either.
It's definitely not all fun and games. Yes, I can have cake for breakfast. Yes, I can stay up all hours of the night playing video games, reading a book, or watching a movie/show. Yes, I can drive anywhere I want. But all of those have scary adult consequences and responsibilities attached to them. So do all of the other things kids wish they could do when they're young.
On a happier (and less existential crisis) note, I'm actually really blessed and have many privileges and opportunities for which others can only dream. I am grateful for knowledge about the Plan of Salvation/Happiness. This life is no cake-walk for anyone. However, there is hope for a bright future with Heavenly Father, family, and friends in an eternal paradise. I just need to do what I know is right and endure (not just hang in there or suffer through it) to the end. A Savior was sent, and He prepared the way back. That is the Gospel.
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